Experiment
Welcome to my little experiment. Many have kindly shared with me that they really enjoyed following our story through the Caring Bridge site. Well, confession: Sharing our story on the Caring Bridge site was therapeutic for me as well. But now, six weeks post Jamey’s passing, we/I don’t really have a ‘fight against cancer’ story to share anymore. So, I thought my story was finished. Truthfully, in many ways, I kind of felt like I was finished. But a dear, dear friend suggested I write about grief, and share that with others.
Grief
But honestly, grief sucks. Grief is not sexy or fun, or anything that I would think that anyone would really care to read about it, so I am going to try to modify the subject just a bit. I am going to try to write about how we, as a newly revised and modified family of three, a family I have dubbed as “Family 2.0,” are moving through grief, and maybe growing through grief. And in my effort to get an A in Grief because that’s what motivates me: grades, accolades, and gold stars, I have been doing all the things. I’ve joined virtual grief groups, face-to-face grief groups. I have met with widows; I have listened to TedTalks about grief; I have read and listened to books on grief; I start my day with “griefy” biblical devotionals. I mean I have and am truly trying to do all the things, because I keep hearing that if you don’t do grief right, it only gets worse, and let me tell you, I can’t handle worse. This is about all the worse I can take.
Journaling
But one of the things that all those things keep echoing one another about is that they all suggest keeping a journal. Supposedly, keeping a journal might help you make your way to the other side of this hell hole. Well, the other side of awful is where I want to be so, ding, ding, ding: here I am, trying my hand at “blogging” my way through grief. I hope it helps; I hope I make it through, and I welcome anyone to follow along.